In my view, you’ve waited too long if
you haven’t discussed it by the second date!
As I detailed in Spot the real POT (Part III): How a
real POT handles the “allowance talk”, a POT should bring up the subject
of allowance early, and, if he doesn’t that may be a problem:
He should bring the
subject up himself, and, if he doesn’t make sure that you do! The way to spot a
real POT is based, in large measure, how long it takes for the subject of
allowance to be raised and how seriously it gets discussed after it has been
raised. If you find yourself in an endless cycle of text messages, skype calls,
or even dates and he has not yet broached the subject, he ain’t the real
deal.
But, all is not lost! I’m going to give you my thoughts on how to
break this log jam and get the allowance talk out in the open! But first, let’s give you a good frame of
reference to help you confidently approach the subject.
We all know that, generally, an
arrangement involves two very important subjects: money and sex. Sure, there are a lot of other facets to an
arrangement, and, for the most part, they are easy to discuss, so we need not
dwell on them. The real “sensitive”
issues that seem to freak out most SBs are money and sex. Taking the second topic first, some SBs are
concerned that talking about sex “cheapens” them and that it should not be
discussed! Nothing is further from the
truth! In For goodness sake, SBs, don’t be
afraid of your pussy; talk about sex! I wrote the following:
Talking about sex
cheapens you only when you allow the guy to do the talking and not yourself!
I think women should spend more time talking about sex, not less. And, I
don’t mean you have to be a “perv” about it, but my point is this: in an
arrangement, money and sex are on the table. If you do not take a seat at
the table and talk about what you want, financially and sexually, you are never
going to be heard! Guys aren’t shy about taking about what they want,
often in the most graphic, if not juvenile terms. Why should you treat it
as taboo? You rob yourself of your most powerful strength when it comes
to negotiating an arrangement with a SD if you do so. You see the posts
about the “power of the pussy”. You think that’s a joke? I’m here
to tell you that it is true. You gotta talk about it! Once you
realize that, once you understand and internalize that you, and you alone, have
what a guy desperately wants, right there, between your legs, you will be
invincible, unstoppable and much better off financially.
Here is the key: for
most guys looking for an arrangement, money and sex are all tied up into one
ball. To unwind those threads, you have
to be prepared to tackle each of the subjects in a direct, straightforward way!
So, getting to the main topic, the money, understand the
following truism: “Communication is
key!” What does that mean? It means that you gotta open your mouth! You have to talk about it! The issue of money is critical, and, in cases
where the POT doesn’t talk about it first, you have to take the lead and put it
on the table! If he gets all freaked
out, offended, or evasive, you have your answer; the guy is not a legit POT
and, at that point, finish your dinner, drink that wine, get dessert and then
get the hell out of that restaurant and never look back!
Okay, at this point into the post, you are probably saying
out loud, “look, I understand ‘Communication is key’; you say that all the
time! But, sugardaddyjournal, gimme
something that I can use!” And then you
give the computer screen (or your iPhone) your patented pouty face. Sadly, I can’t see that pouty face, but I
can’t abide it! I want you to give that
screen your happy face! So, here is what
you can do:
Let’s assume your well into your second date and Tad has yet
to bring up the allowance! And you have
hit this point where the conversation you’ve been having “has resolved itself
based on its own volition” (kudos to you if you recognize the Seinfeld
reference! lol). This is the perfect time to strike!
First, roll with the vibe you got with this guy; so, if
you’ve been flirty, be flirty, if the vibe is more serious, then be more
serious, etc. But, roll with the
vibe! For purposes of this example, I’m
going to assume a slightly flirty vibe with overtones of frankness (almost
sounds like a wine tasting, eh?)
So, hit him with this:
Tad, I have to tell you that I’m enjoying our time
together! You’re really interesting and
you have been so sweet to me! I really
appreciate that! It seems like we’re a
damn fine match and I’d like to get to know you more. And, I’d feel a lot better spending the time
with you so that we could get to know each other better if we got the financial
end of this arrangement out of the way!
You see, I’d really like to show you what it means to be your sugar
baby, if you know what I mean.
That
should spark him into action! If he asks
you how much you are looking for, tell him!
Make sure you have a number in mind.
Don’t be taken by surprise. If he
brings up sex (possibly as an attempt to “throw you off your game”), be ready
for it! Tell him, “Yes, sex is on the
table! But, not until the money is on
the table!”